My internet service provider, which is also the internet service provider for several other individuals within this nation was acting amiss today. Someone presented a metaphor trying to explain to a coworker of mine that the internet was like water and the service provider was the pump to the well. They exclaimed that the well was full and the pump was working but the water was being pump elsewhere.
What? Where is the internet going? Ha. It made me also think Y2K and the possibility that perhaps our estimations were just a little over a decade off. Huh…who knew. Y2K always makes me think of other conspiracies like the end of the world. If that is to happen are we right or wrong about our best guesses thus far? I don’t know if I believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo but it’s interesting to think about. It’s also interesting to think about how little I have written this year, for being my greatest passion I sure have shown it little limelight.
In fact, it saddens me how little I have created. I have worked more consistently this year but I have also played equally consistently. Yet, I have rendered my creativity very minimally.
Endlessly I feel half exhaustion, half ecstasy, in every inhale and every exhalation. So in conclusion, what is real to you, what is illusion?
In all honesty, I cannot wait for what tomorrow has in store for me. Not just the next day but all of eternity. I am so enlightened by the mere fact of existence that I could absolutely explode. I am seeing stars. I am conceiving plans from my dreams so bright, so bright they sting. I feel so inspired and positive and motivated and ambitious and just all together awesome that I want all of the world to feel me.
Feel how hot I am to touch. Saver how sweet I am to taste.
Notice how bold I am to hear. Inhale how comforting I smell.
And visualize how intricate I must be.
I must be and you must be.
And you are me. You are me.
Everything that surrounds
from here on out
what I want.
If I feel insane
for making the same mistakes
I’ll retract and retreat
and start it all over
until I learn
until I can fly
I’m really really really happy right now.
I think I have finally come full circle.
I am starting to understand myself
and what my personal journey
and purpose have meant.
I am realizing who I am
and what I’m about.
I feel so whole, so content, so complete, so worry free.
I am feeling all burdens vanish into air.
I am exhaling my long held breath.
I’m letting it all out and taking it all in.
All of this is stream of consciousness. All of this is truth that is alive within me.
I am so incredibly inspired that it is difficult to just sit here and not wake everyone I know up with the good news. That life is so beautiful, so ephemeral, so pure and potent. Nothing can replace a single second. Each moment so precious and well defined. I will never let go of anyone at anytime. If you need me. I’ll be there.
"Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter. Togetherness, girl it’s all I’m after. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there."
I just made my cat do a hand stand. I want you all to know that I love you. All of you. Each and every single one. No more and no less. Well truth be told I might care more for certain folks more than most but that’s earned ever so slowly and gracefully.
I love human interaction and realizing the connection we all share within a conversation whether brief or long. Just that moment, that second, you know you belong. Right exactly where you are at this point in time. Nothing matters but the present. So be as big as you wish or as tall as you dream.
Be a monster, a princess, a prom or drag queen. Be a cashier, a waitress, a secretary, a model. Be bold, be in charge, be excited, and zesty. Hold true to your truth to your intuition and your feelings. Know what your heart’s true desire is and do your damnedest to fulfill it.
No good deed goes unpunished. By friends I am turning twenty one in three days. I’m a little nervous but by all accounts I am excited. This weekend and this year are going to be righteous to the maximum. I want all bad vibes to be put behind us now. I want only good to linger.
So have whatever dish you wish to dine with
and any girl or boy you choose.
Because in the end you have absolutely nothing but you fears to lose.
Let go of your fears.
They are only holding you back.
Let the good times roll.
Let the music play.
Sing along to every song you know.
Stop being so cautious with ever single word or thought.
Provoke the world to imagine a better way
And do it. Do it to it.
If you cannot expect to understand
and be the ever living example of everything
you wish to exist and be complete and right
then you will never see it exist.
For something you desire to be manifested
it must first enter this world in you.
Through you and by you.
Gandhi rocked it like no other
"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
So be happy be healthy
be inspired and free
Show the world the best
example of ME
And if at a moment of despair do not fret
"for this too shall pass"
All moments are spectacular and individual
we are to live to experience
so impress what you love
and rid your mind, body, and spirit of the rest.
May you all have the courage to be what it is you really want to be and not be held back by the gloved hand of a master you cannot see. If none of this is real and if all of it is fake then does that mean that we are all just pretending to exist?
Regardless of this or that
We are alive to soak up everything we can
And I am the sponge
I want wisdom, I want truth, I want knowledge, I want conversation, I want connection, I want satisfaction from the inner working out.
Wake up Wake up Wake up
and smell your own stink
Rid your mind, body, and spirit
of all you do not regard as ‘right’
but remember it is best first to put
a finger in the water to try and understand
What of everything you know?
What of everything you don’t?
Teach me something, I have five or more senses with which I can intake all you have to share.
Love life because life is love and love is life.
And you are.
I guess to be truthful and frank and so on
I just love being alive and sometimes I forget how delicious it is to partake of air. To be able to breath and to be alive. I forget how awesome it is to have all opportunity available even though they can seem so far. There is no truth so honest as the truth within oneself.
Have a night or have a day whenever you read this, have it your way.