Hello, I'm Alexis Brianne. I'm a nostalgic, an idealist, an opportunist, madly in love with life and inspired by everything. My favorite things are coffee, conversations, confidants and cats but that's a very short list. I'm just a small individual that's big on expression. Welcome to my meandering mind. I'm also available in most social networking varieties, cause I'm a junkie! Hit me up!
Everything that Madonna says in this interview is nothing short of phenomenal. She expresses so much truth and everyone should watch both this interview and her short film.
And most definitely watch this! Her short film secretprojectrevolution.
It made me cry for every reason one can fathom, this is what true art does. It has it’s own voice and it isn’t afraid it is proud and it stands up for the oppressed. It stands for truth! It stand for love which is the ultimate truth.
"The present age is one of understanding, of reflection, devoid of passion, an age which flies into enthusiasm for a momentonly to decline back into indolence. Not even a suicide does away with himself out of desperation, he considers the act so long and so deliberately, that he kills himself with thinking—one could barely call it suicide since it is thinking which takes his life. He does not kill himself with deliberation but rather kills himself because of deliberation. Therefore, one can not really prosecute this generation, for its art, its understanding, its virtuosity and good sense lies in reaching a judgement or a decision, not in taking action."
-Read the rest here http://cliffarnold.com/thepresentage.pdf
The above was written by Soren Kierkegaard in the 19th century and sadly this is becoming even more true today. There are still two types of intellectuals:those that go along with the herd and those that digress. It has always been this way. Noam Chomsky talked about how in America we tend to side with the digressers when they are in another culture and within our own country we tend to side with the main argument. This is quite absolutely true of mainstream society in American.
It is the fact that the majority of American’s have a true forgetting of their past, no memory of their history, not for that of all mankind, not for their country, and not for themselves. Everything is fly by night reflection and yet never actually addresses the real, important, and underlying issues. People today are trained to think in a certain fashion. What Chomsky has stated the public relations committee refer to as ‘manufacturing consent’.
It’s a terrible fact that no one truly seems to take a stand for anything anymore. Everyone just merely talks about it. Even I don’t know what a person can really do anymore. If a person does try and get something done that may oppose the current system, they are either hushed or their credibility is tarnished. This is happening in almost every institution. Yet, the common mass does not know, nor do they care, their minds are filled with popular culture; which has no importance or barring within the realm of reality, not even in the physical, whatsoever. The contradiction between the materialist worldview and the virtual reality within the television and video games is hilarious to say the least.
“A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.”-Soren Kierkegaard
I’m truly fascinated with the prophetic messages and warnings that many great minds gave centuries ago and you can find them all throughout history. Once again at their time they are seen as ridiculous and then later people realize their importance and their truth. It’s also funny to note that even “Jesus himself had testified that a prophet has no honor in his own hometown.” Chomsky also says that historically the digressing intellectual was the prophet of old.
I feel like the debate has always been what is truly good and what is truly bad for man. Men come and go with different ideologies. The best of them I have found is existentialism because it understands that the sole purpose of existence is up to the individual. Within existentialism you have the theological in Kierkegaard and the atheist in Nietzsche to very different viewpoint but both understanding the necessity of the individual and the subjective experience.
Kierkegaard said that you cannot have faith without doubt because if you did not have down one would have solid evidence and thus it could no longer be faith. He argued the dangerous of blind faith. He would be the utmost interesting person to debate the new atheist today.
Nietzsche exclaimed that, “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Yet his shadow still looms. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?”
Killing all the ideals. Those words resulting in the very culture we have today. One running rapid with people whom have ideals but cannot express for which they really come. They deny the supernatural even though the very denial of the supernatural renders every bit of their life meaningless and their very thought constructs and emotions being nothing more than biologically and chemical reactions adapted byproducts of an evolutionary process that one man Charles Darwin postulated.
Yet, his theory makes absolutely no sense of the true origin of that first single celled organism and in fact has no idea how it could have become manifest out of the inorganic material.
The Atheist Scientist of today assert two different explanations for how that inorganic material created the first organic single celled organism. 1) We were seeded here by some other highly evolved species, Aliens. or 2) The cell piggybacked on crystals. I have no idea how the second even counts as a hypothesis because the chances of that are very very slim. Even still the very fact that they are happier to give the creation of earth’s creatures up to some aliens or some crystals is quite humorous but they sure won’t give it to a God that just doesn’t coincide with their agenda.
And Flaubert warned of the stupidity of modernity and by God was he right!
And Post modernity is far stranger and maybe stupider than even modernity as it refuses any solidify position as to what it is to be a post modernist because to define it would be to defile it.
It seems to me to be more and more ridiculous circular logic that gives no grounds for truly settling on a position or coming to a solid understanding of anyone else. No one can come to a proper conclusion. There is no longer a proper way to determine if any work or deed is good or bad because they cannot tell you by which means to arrive at its definition.
To me the simple truth is this: if you get rid of the idea of supernaturalism and only adhere to naturalism you are limiting your ability towards any ultimate understanding. You are rendering your even your strongest emotions nothing more than biological and chemical reactions and thus feeling extremely happy or extremely sad aren’t really here nor there. No life or death matters. However, if you can keep the idea of supernaturalism there begins to be a much bigger picture of which to look at and much more details to pick through. Consciousness first and foremost to be studied can open a whole new world of dialog.
And see that in naturalism things like love would not exist.
This last two are lengthy but all of the videos within this post are very important because there is a certain, if researched undeniable leadership propagating certain thought patterns and belief systems. They intend have intended throughout history to try and halt a true progress of all mankind and manifest a faulty one that falls in the leadership of a few and allows for great loss and suffering for many whether that loss be a life, a job, true education, or simply a hushed voice. The truly intellectual - those who can think for themselves and are willing to hear and learn the voice of others, have a great responsibility to keep the dialog open for progress for the world over.
A dogma is a belief system. Science will attempt to tell you that they are not dogmatic however why is it that the truly intellectual inquiry of the nature of consciousness is not readily being studied through out the sciences? Because the intellectual inquiry on the study of the nature of consciousness would result in I am very sure almost endless results as the consciousness is the very thing studying the consciousness and furthermore they are steadfastly holding onto the materialistic worldview which is nothing but circular logic that is a means to no end.
Likewise the materialistic worldview says that all that exists is matter and matter is unconscious but if that were so how does the consciousness arise out of the unconscious matter? It cannot and does not. The general scientific community does not desire to study the true nature of consciousness because it renders much of the foundations of the way the world is perceived today absolutely ridiculous. They want you to believe that all that exist is the physical yet there is much proof within your own mind that directly contradicts this.
The mere fact that nothing can be defined without its relation to something else qualifies that everything is connected thus the supposed unconscious with the conscious. But if they were to say that everything is connected through the consciousness and therefore they cannot define the consciousness because it is that very that we are. Why is it that science isn’t studying the very essence of what we are? Consciousness.
There are a number of brave souls within the scientific community who have spoke out about the dogmatic system by which much of the scientific research is conducted and in their studies find that consciousness is really what needs more inquiry especially with the connectedness we have to one another and the world and the rest of the universe. As we are made up of the very elements that were present within the big bang theory and our make up is directly matched with that of the explosion or beginning of the universe thus it must be said that we are all interconnected with consciousness which cannot be explained and by its very nature consciousness of the individual observer of data has been proven through out history to alter the overall results of the experiment. What does that mean? It means that what a person believes or thinks or presupposes about a certain set of data within an experiment will in all actuality render a unique result.
The scientist who views the world as merely material will bring forth only material results. The scientists who trust that the consciousness is something more than a mere byproduct of the material will render different results and in all frankness, a more honest, result because it is self evident that consciousness exists if it does not then none of us really exist and we are merely delusional to believe that we do exist. So do we exist? Do we have consciousness?
Science cannot truly answer these things with infallibly empirical data most especially cannot if it presupposes the fact that we are all merely material, the consciousness must then be a misconception to them. Yet, it is not. They believe we exist and that we have consciousness. The dogmatic system within the sciences presupposes logic and rational. It presupposes that the universe is both knowable and rational in nature.
It attempts to explain how everything is because of material data that could have actually been different at the time it was new/younger/birthed or alive verses the subjective view of it now. It presupposes that there is uniformity through out time and space but none of these things can be scientifically proven. It cannot be scientifically proven that nothing within the any religious text has not in fact taken place by the mere examination of fossil elements that could be vastly different in their new/younger/birthed or within their living state. Science cannot explain science. It can only attain what the supposed and agreed upon historical and scientific facts.
No one though should trust the idea of the miraculous without having their own experience of such. Yet, if the miraculous is experienced the scientific community for the most part denies this and thus renders all of life meaningless. The meaninglessness of life is something most humans never think about. There is great reason for the fact that the underlying dogma within the scientific community is material and thus renders life meaningless.
Why is this so?
It is so because as of this time nearly every system in which we are predisposed to by our economic, cultural, political, historical, scientific, educational and even religious institutions today promote a certain worldview. This means that the people who are the decision makers for the most part about what information is factual and what information is not factual ie. what is true and what is not true is decided upon by a select group of people through out. They control the information that we the people receive.
In doing so they control our perception of the world because if we do not believe what it is they are telling us then we are either crazy or stupid.
However, a person is truly not conscious of their very reality, nature, or essence if they are not allowed to think freely within themselves.
Furthermore, the scientific material worldview renders life meaningless and really nonexistent in the sense that we have consciousness. Also the culture of today is the desire for absolute freedom. But absolute freedom is not without the consequence of a meaningless existence.
How can this be?
Most people become so busy simply working or entertaining themselves that they do not stop to think what is the reason for all of this. Why go to work? Why get an education? Why do anything if in the end you are nothing but material? Why do you have a sense that any of your decisions make a difference?
Many of you here will say that you live to be free. You want that absolute freedom. For one to say they want absolute freedom we are really saying we should be ruled by nothing. This means nothing stands in our way. We deny all absolute truths and thus all truth is subjective. Yet, if all truth is in actuality subjective where does the doctrine for the pushing of that morality of subjective truth come from? Meaning if someone says to you that all truth is subjective and tells you to not try and ‘convert’ them to any other philosophical belief because they profess in the subjectivity of truth, where do they attain the notion that all truth is subjective?
Most great thinkers like Tolstoy, Camus, Aldous Huxley, and many other realized that to obtain the absolute freedom it would mean to recognize the utter meaninglessness of life.
Albert Camus said, “We modern people believe in absolute freedom. Many of us don’t believe in God at all. Many of us don’t believe in a God that you can know. Therefore, we believe in no God or no God you can really know because we believe in freedom. If there was a God we could know, who told us how we had to live, and who gave us the rules, and the regulations, well, then we wouldn’t be free but because we believe in freedom and because we don’t believe in the traditional view of God…we are free. But if we are free we are all like Sisyphus.”
The dogmatic system that has been in place within the scientific community for the most part abandons certain scientific and philosophical inquiry for their material basis because it does not want man to stop and think of the meaning of their lives. It simply feeds them the meaning via all the systems which propagate similar ideologies. Has it not ever occurred to you that a scientific fact nevertheless is for the most part nothing more than a theory. Some of these theories do not even have truly observable phenomena. Which by definition non-observable phenomena what Kant called the noumenal was a place for intuition and faith. Faith! What science as a faith?
Yes, it requires just as much faith as most any religion. Here is an example much like this one by Stephan J. Gould, a late professor at Harvard said, “We are here because one odd group of fishes had a peculiar anatomy that could transform into legs and for terrestrial creatures; and we are here because comets struck the earth and wiped out the dinosaurs, giving mammals a chance they would not of otherwise, have had available to them and therefore; thank you’re lucky stars, in a literal sense, because the earth never froze entirely during an ice age; we are here because a small and tenuous species, arising in Africa a quarter of a million years ago has managed to survive by hook and by crook. We may yearn for a “higher” answer but none exists. This explanation though superficially troubling, if not terrifying, is ultimately liberating and exhilarating. We cannot read the meaning of life passively in the facts of nature. We must construct these answers ourselves, from our own wisdom and ethical sense. There is no other way.”
Has he not said liberating, meaning freeing. Yet, he adheres to the idea that we must construct these answers ourselves from our own wisdom and ethical sense. But how can anyone define the ethical or wisdom at all if there is no meaning and no absolute?
Aldous Huxley was by far the most honest about the true efforts and underlying agenda within of the idea of absolute freedom and meaninglessness saying, “I had motives for not wanting the world to have meaning; consequently I assumed it had none, and was able without much difficulty to find satisfying reasons for this assumption. The philosopher who finds no meaning in the world is not concerned exclusively with academics; the philosopher the philosopher who finds no meaning in this world is also concerned to prove that there is no valid reason why he should not personally do as he or she wants to do or why his friends should not seize political power and govern in the way they find most advantageous to themselves. For myself the philosophy of meaninglessness was essentially an instrument for liberation, sexual, and political.”
If you do no believe this is an agenda of terrible consequences of course you are up to your interpretation. It is free to oppose as any thought should be. Yet, I beg you heed these wise words by Dorthy Sayers, “In this world, there is a view that’s called total tolerance, but in hell it is called despair. It is the sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, enjoys nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing. Why? Because there is nothing for which it could die for.”
Meaning that all our efforts eventually turn into dust and nothingness. Alan Watts has the greatest explanation for that which seems to be the true essence our consciousness and our true reality (perhaps)
And the truth is that the nothingness is not in reality absence of anything it is the unity of everything. We perceive it as nothingness because within our consciousness is the nothingness and with which we have nothing to compare it to.
But the idea that life is truly meaningless cannot be lived because it creates confusion and collision between the different faculties of the consciousness. You have a corrosion of the psychological, of the emotional, of the philosophical.
The best explanation for this are the following:
What is this plague, this germ which, like the tubercle bacillus,
lurks within, waiting for the victim’s strength to sink
below a certain level so that it may strike?
It is not a new organism. It ravages were predicted
by certain seers of the nineteenth century.
Melville and Hawthorne, Nietzsche and Marx,
Dostoievsky and Kafka all saw it coming in one form or another.
Its actual appearances have been described in some detail
by contemporary poets and painters, playwrights and novelists.
There were and are a few theologians at work on the bacterium,
but for the most part of examination and analysis
are taking place in the secular laboratories.
The germ has a very simple name: meaninglessness.
And the conditions under which is strikes are well known:
when one raises or is confronted by the ultimate questions
about live, about the purpose and meaning of existence,
and discovers that there are no answers;
no answers, that is, that can be believed.
Life seems pointless and empty,
rather cruel and even a little mad.
[William Graham Cole The Restless Quest of Modern Man
(New York: Oxford UP, 1966) p. 7]
As well as this magnificent quotation; “The new rebel in our time is a skeptic and will not entirely trust anything, and therefore he has no loyalty, and he can’t even be a revolutionary. The fact that he doubts everything, and he must doubt everything, bars his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciations implies a moral doctrine, and you can’t believe in moral doctrine if all things are meaningless. The modern revolutionary doubts not only the institution that he denounces but the doctrine of moral truth by which he denounces it. As a politician he will cry out that war is a waste of life yet, as a philosopher he has to admit that all life is a waste of time. In short, the modern revolutionary, being an infinite skeptic, which he must be, is always engaged in undermining his own mind. In his books on politics he attacks persons for trampling on morality, but in his books on ethics he attacks morality for trampling on persons. Therefore the modern rebel has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt by rebelling against everything, he has lost he right to rebel against anything.”
"There is a kind of thought that stops thought and that is the only kind of thought that ought to be stopped."
Sartre famously said, “It is forbidden to forbid.” But this is circular logic because even that is a method of forbidding!
And even still from another viewpoint of the dangers of the adoption of the need for absolute freedom rendering meaninglessness is given by C.S. Lewis in which he states, “If there is no answers, if there is no creator, if there is nothing that is really true, when you are in love you must remember that only a psychopharmalogical reaction in your brain is happening. There is no such thing as love. You may enjoy music but you have to realize it is only a biological reaction; beauty and ugliness, cruelty and compassion are totally subjective, not real, all in your brain synapses. You may still, in the lowest sense, have a ‘good time’; but just as far in as it becomes a very good time, just in so far, as it ever threatens to push you out of cold sensuality and into real warmth and enthusiasm, and joy,you will be forced to feel the hopeless disharmony between your own emotions and the very universe you really live in.”
Much of these quotations have been taking from the following video. I am not promoting Christianity. I am promoting intellectual inquiry. I am promoting that people read the bible and leave the interpretation up to the individual instead of simply placing judgement out of this you have heard about it. I would also encourage all of you to question why the system in itself as become so dogmatic. All parts of the whole are dogmatic towards the direction of meaningless. If it so that we do not take the time to search within ourselves for the true meaning? Perhaps! I encourage you to read every philosophical, spiritual, religious, and scientific text you can find. It is only upon true self meditation and inquiry that we really find ourselves and our meaning. I will tell you one belief of which I am very dogmatic about and that is the belief in compassion and love. I truly believe that if everyone loved one another as they loved themselves the power of love would conquer us all. But remember if it is simply all meaningless for your desire of absolute freedom even love and compassion are merely up to subjective interpretation.
This blog is intended to demonstrate the impact music has on society. When I think of the artist that have had the greatest impact on society as a whole there are four artist that come to mind. They are Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Bob Marley and Michael Jackson. Each of the individuals even those within the band have greatly increased the feeling of prosperity within us all. The feeling of oneness and collectedness throughout all of life. This is a message that must be heeded. It is the only message we should be subjecting ourselves to in a time where the world seems as if it is falling apart.
The earth itself is a wondrous and beautiful thing. It is teaming with life. It is plentiful in its nourishment for all of life. We have been suck in system of separation. One in which we constantly compare ourselves to others. Many of us look towards celebrities in whatever field for guidance. The truth is they are people just like everyone else. They too have ups and downs and while it may seem their life is easier than yours, it may not be so. Each person is given the circumstances they can overcome. The truth is that love is the answer. If you can be aware of love and cherish it both within yourself and for all the rest of life you will know peace. Jimi Hendrix once said that “when the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace”. This is absolutely true. “Imagine all the people living for today.”
Now is the time to recognize your own gifts and talents. Now is the time to be thankful for the things you have instead of hoping for something gained. Now is the time to make precious each and every moment for it is just that. Michael Jackson said, “in a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”
Each of these particular artist were truly a voice for the people. They were not concerned with the material possessions or wealth. They knew that true wealth was within the hearts and minds of men; within shared conversation, within shared wisdom, and simply within sharing. They used their fame as a catalyst for enlightenment and understanding to demonstrate the goodness in the world, in love, that is free to anyone whom seeks it and especially to anyone who shares it.
The examples of them pressing this message of hope is endless but I have picked a few examples for you all to reflect on. So many of us place great blame upon ourselves and others but we can truly only grow when we as a whole stop being victims and decide to become creators. Manifesting our own destiny.
Let It Be by The Beatles is a great song for reflection and meditation. “When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be”
All You Need Is Love by The Beatles is obvious and brilliant anthem for this critical time. It speaks of all aspects of life and explains the answer is simple, “all you need is love.”
And as individuals The Beatles continued to promote this same message of love each in their own way.
With John we most typically think of Imagine because it is such an eloquent and magical gem that grows evermore inspiring with each year.
Because the system sucks and feeds us nothing but lies
Because we want love and peace here on earth!
“All things must pass” there is no use in worrying in what is gone, be strong and be happy for what you have but all things must pass. Let life flow, let it roll. “within you or without you”.
Because everyone loves “silly loves songs”
and Because “in love our problems disappear but all in all we soon discover that one and one is all we long to hear!”
Ringo Starr gives us a recipe for success: “You got to love everything breath you breathe. Look at the sky and believe.”
And because “every soul has a secret give it away or keep it but yesterday is gone so tell me why you carry the weight of the world?”
Because the truth and all the answers are “blowin’ in the wind”.
The nasty truth of the “masters of war” Who are the cowards through out history. “We just want you to know we can see through your mask.”
And ongoing into the darker side of our history as a people - these masters - these leaders, DO NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT US!
And because we have no one to blame but ourselves. Like Gandhi said, “be the change you want to see in the world.” Michael says, “starting with the man in the mirror, make that change.”
Because deep, deep, down within each of us is the desire for that ONE LOVE. “Let’s get together and feel alright.”
And because it is time for the whole world, all of humanity to be redeemed. “Won’t you help to sing these songs of freedom, cause all I ever have redemption songs. Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. Have no fear for atomic energy, ‘Cause none of them can stop the time. How long shall they kill our prophets while we stand aside and look”?
All of the artist in this post had a dream of living in peace. They did not concern themselves with material goods. They wanted truth, justice, peace, and love. This is music that is good for the soul. It enriches and transforms the listener. Look not on others to be your guide, be your own guide. Be the light! Be the change! Shine bright and love even when it is hard because that is when the power of love is needed the most.
It’s 3.06 am. I could still get plenty of sleep if I could fall back asleep now. I’m not sure why I cannot sleep more than two hours at a time. My mind won’t let me slumber so I’m here typing on tumblr. Lately, things have been a little confusing, a little frustrating but I’m still pressing on as positively as I can.
I’m missing certain people and not sure or confident in the outcome of communication. I feel the limbo taking hold. Speaking of limbo, I am two time winner of the Saturday Roadhouse Limbo, which is not much of a surprise considering I am exactly five foot. Some say it’s cheating but I say that short people must have advantages in at least one sport…or game…what have you.
I have got to gather myself and writing is and has always been my most sacred of releases. It’s a real shame how I have gone so long without writing more than three sentences.
Overwhelmed is the atmosphere of my current existence. I’m happy to say I have maintained two jobs since February and have slowly but surly been putting some money back. I got to see Bright Eyes in Saint Louis at The Pageant just last week and it was definitely the highlight of this summer thus far. My friend Stevi and I are going to do our best to finally try out for American Idol. I’m still not sure what song I want to perform.
I feel things growing and dying all around me. I feel so inspired one moment and then completely unaware or unattached to my surroundings. I am told that my limbo state is a fine state and natural state to be in at my age. I’m still unsure. I rest un-assured ahha. That is if I can rest.
I have done a lot of thinking about the perceived permanence of certain feelings or relationships. It is most certainly part of my confusion and frustration. I wish I had the proper words gathered for every amount of feeling I need to express, but I give you what I feel; instantly, unedited, and transparent.
I’m unwilling to yield all of my emotion to the wimps of another human. It scares me, the idea of needing rather than wanting, especially, in regards to relationships. I am afraid of being left so I leave but it is not that simple.
I wonder if I have any talent left in any part of my body? My introspection as of late has been more of highs and lows then I feel are usual. But that could be a lie. I could always feel this way every day and forget each night. You know, “I’ve slept since then”.
Loneliness and I aren’t friends. Neither of us understood the other. We argued for hours over the most minimal issues. It brings a strange smile to my face now. I just wish he was still around.
I’m breaking down like never before. Sold my soul to get comfortable and now it’s fading and I’m feeling cold again.
I want to hold you but I hold back. What a strange sense of oxygen What a strange moron I am.
I’m terrible insane honestly in every way.
Look in my eyes tell me otherwise you know you’ll lie eventually
evidently, I’m unusual. I despise perception believed to be concrete there is nothing concrete you little strange ones who believe that nothing can be changed will always be just enough
the enemy of the best is JUST ENOUGH
I’m so ill my stomach churns when I think of your satisfaction in the mundane
well go walk in your everyday glory it will fade today or the next nonetheless sooner than later you will see eye for eye shall never reign again we live and bleed in different times
it’s more complex it’s a sad fact that most of you cannot see this but when it come down it it
loneliness and I were never friends I don’t want to die alone I think about future plans and such and it makes me so anxious at times but I inhale that next breath like it’s my last because at any moment I could move or leave this earth.
I don’t need judgement but neither do you so shut that door and open anew
I write this to tell you what I know my lord how the times have changed and keep changing so nothing ever seems as good or as bad as it truly was so take it in, soak it up, and let the good times roll.
I’m addicted baby, you can fill the rest in. It’s better if you don’t know. I don’t need judgement but neither do you so shut that door and open anew
Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark Emerging from the gentle grip of night’s unfolding arms Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone? The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone
You don’t see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky You will see your beauty every moment that you rise
This is my current state of mind, perhaps of this lifetime!
"you can blame it on your teachers. you can blame it on the weather. you can blame it on how your mother and father didn’t stick together. but one of these days darlin’, it’s gotta make sense inside your head”
I wonder where fear grows the most? Where the pain is unwavering in the soul? I ask so soft, so delicately for understanding. Up on illusion, I ran across the night sky. Clear my throat and tell no lies. No forgiveness yet no restraint. To have and to hold, to chock if I ain’t. Rumors are scabs, so ugly and noticeable when your picking at it, it will hide the truth from your face.
Something more or less sensational for your flesh. Is the question, we answer best? But it’s touch and taste and sight and smell but hearing your breath, your voice turns a hell, to a heaven, as quick and as clear as I can handle.
What is my damage? What have I done? Am I only one person? Am I the only one? I don’t believe I put anything to rest with any sleep or poetry, it just gives me enough energy, enough emotion to function and each day I feel less and less. I feel now like all I really am is a beating heart.
I think, I do. I think, I’ll try. To pace the floor. Refuse to cry. Open the eyes, the ears, the doors. Break like a heart, no love, forever more. In the current setting, a river runs fast, a river runs free. Circling me. Cycle thinking, knowingly. Surrounding, drowning, comfortably. Numb is emptiness. Numb doubts the obvious pain. Sad but true, etched in my brain. I’m calm, collected, intense, insane. Above average but as the night turns sweet or sour, I promise to make my mind at the end of the hour. To hold close and fast to a love said forever, to last. Scared of pain but more frightened of lonliness. I pray, I beg. This is my deepest breath, to inhale the air so tight and strong to hold onto your memory, forever long.
Gambling is an interesting concept especially with regards to life. What does your life mean to you? Do you feel like you are living up to your true potential? Do you feel as if you could be more, do more, see more? If so why aren’t you? Is it that risk that is involved that both tantalizes and scares you? Yeah, yes! Duh! I have absolutely no purpose for fear in my life and yet I have absolutely without a doubt been a victim to it. Fear of speaking out about how I truly feel, fear about driving which is pretty ridiculous I guess, fear of letting go, of accepting myself and others as they are, fear of failure and on and on to name a few and sometimes I leave this place a fear briefly and make totally and completely irrational decisions based solely on the fact that I feel a lingering need for change because this cozy comfy couch just ain’t kickin’ it no more. And in that I would like to introduce two different lyrical concepts on the topic of gambling. Whether in life or in a game or whether you believe life is just a game you do have to know how to play. That’s the icky sticky fun part, the experience. The melodramatic bullcrap that we call all just sit and laugh about over a nice cup of coffee or whatever else floats your boat. But I digress and now introduce the songs. The Gambler by Kenny Rogers (Hi, I’m Kenny Rogers)
"You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold’em,know when to walk away, and know when to run.You never count your money, when your sittin’ at the table.There’ll be plenty of time for countin’, when the dealin’s done." and The Gambler by fun.
I’m just going to include the entire lyrics because I am so in love with this song…it is never ending.
Slow down, we’ve got time left to be lazyAll the kids are grown from babies into flowers in our eyesWe’ve got fifty good years left to spend out in the gardenI don’t care to beg your pardon, we should live until we die We were barely eighteen when we crossed collective heartsIt was cold, but it got warm when you barely crossed my eyeAnd you turned, put out your hand, and you asked me to danceI knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight I swear when I grow up I won’t just buy you a roseI will buy the flower shop, and you will never be lonelyFor even if the sun stops waking up over the fieldsI will not leave, I will not leave ‘til it’s on timeSo just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side It was the winter of ‘86, all the fields had frozen overSo we moved to Arizona to save our only sonAnd now he’s turned into a man, though he thinks just like his motherHe believes we’re all just lovers, he sees hope in everyone And even though she moved away, we always get calls from our daughterShe has eyes just like her father’s, they are blue when skies are grayAnd just like him she never stops, never takes the day for grantedWorks for everything that’s handed to her, never once complained You think that I nearly lost you when the doctors tried to take you awayBut like the night you took my hand beside the fire thirty years ago’Til this day, you swore you’d be here ‘til we decide that it’s our timeBut it’s not time, you never quit in all your lifeSo just take my hand and know that I will never leave your sideYou’re the love of my life, you know that I will never leave your side You come home from work, and you kiss me on the eyeYou curse the dogs, you say that I should never feed them what is oursSo we move out to the garden, look at everything we’ve grownAnd the kids are coming home so I’ll set the table; you can make the fire
—————————————————————————————————————————————————I guess what true assessment to myself and to others is finding what it is in life that is worth the gamble. There is so much out there to gain and all of that but what is it at the very end of the day that you think about? What is your tireless desires that you never lay to rest not even in your dreams? Mine has a lot to do with love but i’m not sure in what form or from whom. I just know that love is real and truly all we really need. It is what all of our spirits are most hungry for. Yet, I am unsure of the ways and means but I have faith and that’s saying a lot!And I’m a gambler, I gotta be. God Bless!
It’s the stupidest thing but lately I’ve been having these thoughts. As I look outside the window and see the men working diligently on the rooftop of a house a few down from mine, I imagine one of them is you. I imagine you will realize how close you are to my house. I imagine you will take just one minute from working and walk over and knock on my door. And I’ll answer and we will hug and kiss and everything else will disappear. But you’re not even in that line of work and I could guess where you are and where your thoughts are. You’re scared but I’m far more afraid of your absence than you’ll ever know.
I love everything about this video. It has Aaron Weiss from mewithoutYou preforming an impromptu acoustic version of ‘I Never Said I Was Brave’ with some excellent witty banter along with a truly inspiring and universal truth about love for all. Please enjoy!